janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 05:48am on 04/10/2012 under , ,

I have no appointment today. My mom does, but, for the first time this week, I don’t. I would normally say that a lack of an appointment is worthy of a happy dance, but I’m a bit worried about my mom’s appointment.

She has to have an ankle CT this afternoon to find out what the surgical approach will be to fix her left ankle. She’s got a dislocation, fracture/re-fracture, and bent hardware from a fall that she had at Nana’s house. It’s the first ankle that she had surgery on–the ankle that has already had two surgeries. And since she’s in constant pain since the fall, the orthopedist has already told her she will end up having surgery again. He had said, at first, that she might not have surgery again, but she explained that she’s in constant pain with it and he said that the fixes would, at least, be able to stop that–even if they make her ankle less flexible.

So, I shall worry about my poppet.

Mirrored from fuzzypinkslippers.com.

janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 06:31pm on 03/10/2012 under ,

My parents and I went to the dentist yesterday. We didn’t get our teeth cleaned, but we did get X-Rays. I’m proud to say that I don’t have any problems now that I didn’t (probably) have the last time I saw a dentist. That isn’t to say that I don’t have anything wrong.

In 1993 or 1994, I got sealants put on all my 12-year molars. In 1997 or 1998, the 12-year molar on my upper left side broke while I was eating lunch at school. After that, I had a root canal started by a dentist and finished by an endodontist before I got a crown put on it. I had to go to the endodontist because the dentist couldn’t find the 3rd part of the nerve. (He also had to block off too much time to look because my mouth got numb in an odd way–the opposite side would numb first and then it would take two to three times how long it should have taken before the left side would get numb.) The endodontist couldn’t find that part of the nerve either and declared that it just wasn’t there.

Yesterday, I found out that that tooth still had a cavity and the root has a lesion. I can either go through a new root canal, a new build-up, and a new crown OR I can have the tooth pulled. The latter is cheaper, so I may have to go with that. Either way, I have to have an endodontist consult.

The other problem is that the dental student who examined my teeth said that I need to have the braces done as soon as I can get them done. I told the student that I do have trouble chewing and she didn’t seem shocked that that was an issue after seeing my teeth. She was staring at my bite for a second during the exam, and, though I had something between my teeth, I told her that it was a crossbite and underbite, which means that my teeth don’t meet properly. My lower jaw is more prominent and my teeth cross in a funny way.

my teeth

My teeth also point in an odd way because they try to meet properly. The top ones point forward, though this isn’t visible when you look at them. The bottom ones point backward, which is very visible. The student thought that braces alone might fix the issue, but the orthodontists and oral surgeons who I’ve seen before have been pretty clear that jaw surgery will be required. My maxilla will have to be broken around the mid-line and rotated down, while my mandible will have to be shortened and pushed back. I also have an openbite, which will be fixed at the same time. The consensus has been, in the past, that it will be about 18 months after the first set of braces before I’ll get the surgery, then a new set will be put on and about 6-12 months later they will be taken off. They’ll be top and bottom braces because both jaws have to be worked on. I tried to tell the student some of this, but she said that things may have changed and surgery might not be necessary. I figure that if it is serious enough that braces are no longer truly optional, that the need for surgery is probably still there. So, I’ll have an orthodontist consult there and I may be able to get them a lot cheaper at their braces clinic.

She wants me to get a new night guard, because sometimes, when I grind my teeth, my jaw hurts really bad. It has more to do with going to bed angry or in pain. I have to make sure to take Flexeril to relax my jaw enough so that I don’t grind them. I think she was so insistent on it because my jaw kept dislocating when she would have me open it. That seemed to weird her out a little.

So, I have to go back to Birmingham and get my teeth cleaned and have all this stuff done/checked out.

Mirrored from fuzzypinkslippers.com.

janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 11:26pm on 30/09/2012 under ,

In about twelve hours, I get to go back to the hematologist’s office/building for the 4-hour infusion. I always get a little nervous the day before infusions. I’m not too fond of being poked with needles to begin with, because of the hard stick thing. Infusions are a bit worse for a few reasons, but when it comes to the needle part, I dread it because not only do they have to find a vein, they have to find a vein that can hold the IV. (My veins, in addition to being hard to find, are small, move, blow easily, and are notoriously stubborn when it comes to working.)

I also dread the infusion itself. Iron infusions burn. It isn’t a little sensation. It goes from the site on the arm of the IV down to the hand and around the IV.  It hurts and it is painful, and you have to suffer through the pain/burning because iron infusions (and blood transfusions) are a treatment of last resort. Since I can’t take the iron orally, the burning is something I will have to learn to tolerate.

And finally, I dread the way I will feel from a few minutes into the IV until a few days later. I got really bad headaches after the 30 minute/1-hour treatments and my blood pressure shot up really high. So I will basically be overdoing it on my Flexeril for the next 48 hours or so. If my blood pressure didn’t get so high (140+/100+) on infusions, I wouldn’t have to max out my dose of muscle relaxers, but I have to do something to get it under control. I may even have to pull out the Lisinopril that was given to me at one point.

About the only thing that won’t completely suck is that if it’s an iron sucrose infusion like last time, it may have the taste of burnt sugar. That’s not so bad. (It’s a lot better than the saline flush that they use for IVs.)

In an ideal world, Tuesday would be a day of rest for me so that I could recover from the infusion properly. Sadly, Tuesday is the day that I have to go to the dentist, so I won’t get to recover then. I also won’t get to recover Wednesday because I have a renal ultrasound scheduled for that day. So I’m claiming Thursday now as a day for me to sleep and do absolutely nothing–basically, I’m claiming it as a regular day for me.

I hope this infusion helps more than the previous ones. I also hope that they figure where the iron is going after this. Maybe if they figure it out, it can be fixed. And if it is fixed, maybe I’ll finally be able to have a somewhat normal life. A girl can dream, right?


Mirrored from fuzzypinkslippers.com.

janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 09:33pm on 08/09/2012 under , , ,

Dear Suncoast Basset Rescue,

I’m one of Willow’s former owners. She wasn’t crated the majority of her life. In fact, she was rarely put in her kennel. (The only times we really put her in there was when my mom, dad, and I would have to go somewhere together for a few hours or when paramedics would have to come to take my mom to the hospital—mom is very ill with kidney failure, diabetes, and high blood pressure.) She would protest going into the kennel and would run around the house trying to keep from going in one. She actually spent most of her days in a chair next to my mother’s couch. I’ve attached a picture of her in her chair, cuddled with one of her toys. She’s a very sweet girl and was actually housebroken when we got her. When my family’s health deteriorated dramatically in short time period, we were no longer able to take the dogs out enough to keep them housebroken. Willow has a few health problems, which you may or may not know about. (I hope that the shelter she came from told you about them.) She was diagnosed with an enlarged heart a few months after we first adopted her. She had to take Enalapril for that all year, and sometimes had to take theophylline to clear fluid out of her lungs. She was also diagnosed with an underactive thyroid, which caused her to lose hair in many spots. She was on a thyroid pill twice a day for that. And she had to have regular blood work done to make sure that her levels were maintained.

We also were the family of Molly, who is on your website at number 829. Molly was adopted in late 2003 or early 2004. She was born October 27, 2002 and her birth certificate is somewhere in our house, so she is quickly approaching her 10th birthday. Molly has cowered since we first got her. As one of our vets told us and as you noticed, she was abused. She was purchased from a breeder, left outside, given to someone else, and then she got pregnant. When that happened, her then owner took her to a shelter in Selma. She had her puppies, but the shelter there wasn’t feeding her enough to keep her at a healthy weight. When we adopted her, she was severely underweight. We had to feed her puppy chow to boost her weight, but she was always on the low end of normal. Before her second birthday, we found out that Molly had arthritis, which acts up when she is cold or when the weather is bad. Sometimes she gets angsty when that happens, but we would just rub her ears and try to keep her comfortable when that happened. Molly had breast tumors removed early on, and they were not cancerous. Earlier this year, though, she had a tumor removed from her left hip. She had some abscesses from the non-cancerous tumors. We kept them cleaned, which she didn’t usually mind, and had her checked by the doctor, which she didn’t like. (She has to be muzzled at the vet because she has a major fear of vets. She would growl anytime she would see or hear a vet or vet tech.) She loves to cuddle and she would lay in my lap whenever I would read. We joked that she read the entire Harry Potter series with me. She lost weight while she was in the shelter this year after she got sick and was depressed.

My parents and I didn’t want to give her or Willow or our other 2 dogs up, but we were extremely sick, our house was a mess and condemned to boot, and we had no other choice. We miss them and love them everyday, but we know that they are probably doing better in other environments. We were very happy to see that they made it to a basset rescue because we had hoped that if we couldn’t get them back that they would go to a basset rescue.

I wanted to send this to make sure that they’re taken care of and that your agency has a better understanding of these two girls.

Mirrored from fuzzypinkslippers.com.

janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 01:41pm on 04/04/2012 under , , ,

I’m supposed to get my laptop fixed on Friday. For once in my life, I guess I’m going to have to treat Good Friday as if it actually is good. I hope that the technician is able to fix it, but I’m not going to assume that it will be that easy. Experience has taught me not to expect things to happen as quickly or easily as one would hope. That is especially true of repairs.

In the meantime, my dad is being nice about letting me have time on his computer. I guess he’s become accustomed to my laptop deciding to take a sabbatical. I guess that that makes sense.

My mom is being extremely difficult lately. I know that that has become the norm lately, but it seems like she is getting worse. And it seems like it is about the weirdest things.

When my dad and I came home from the emergency room on Wednesday, she decided that because I wasn’t admitted to the hospital, told what was wrong with my digestive system, and wasn’t dead that I was feeling well enough to be bossed around. She felt that it was appropriate to start having me get her things within five minutes of coming in. If she hadn’t just heard that I was anemic and that my blood pressure was low, then I could probably give her a break on that, but she’d heard both things and she just didn’t care. Actually, she seemed a bit pissed that I went to the hospital instead of her.

When my parents went to the grocery store last week, I had put chips and chocolate (in that order) on my list, which is normal. My dad understood that because the two things were on separate lines, I wanted chocolate and chips. My mother, on the other hand, decided that I wanted chocolate chips. When they got home and I asked why they had gotten 2 bags of chocolate chips, she told me that chocolate chips had been on my list. I knew that wasn’t possible. (I had written the list out twice because I felt the first time I was a bit too rude about what I didn’t want [i.e. food I can't eat] them to get for me.) My dad still had the list, so I got it from him and I showed it to my mom. I asked her where on the list had I asked for chocolate chips. She realized that she’d made a mistake. Of course, she had already taken the “fun” step of accusing me of trying to make her look bad. That wasn’t the case. She told me that I was lying and that I was definitely trying to make her look incompetent.  She says that anytime anyone calls her on being wrong.  She thinks that it is my mission in life (and my dad’s mission in life) to make her miserable and make her seem like she doesn’t have a clue about what is going on.  I guess she thinks we enjoy giving her a hard time.

The next day, she asked if she was going to be getting my bank statements and bills and access to my accounts, so that she could get my finances “all straightened out”. She had decided that she was going to do this about a week before, after she’d told my dad that I had overdrawn my bank account again. (I hadn’t.) She’d come home from the grocery store that week to tell me that I was being irresponsible with the money in the account and that it was all due to being bipolar. She felt that, though she has a tendency to spend money as easy as (or easier than) me, she was the person who should be in charge of the accounts. At first, I had agreed, but that was only after she’d basically forced me to the brink of tears. By last Friday, though, I’d decided that I didn’t like that idea and I didn’t like how the “agreement” had been reached. When I told her, she said, “Your father told me that you would never let me do that.” I replied, “Well, I guess he knows me better than you do.” That pissed her off. She said, “I don’t know how.” I told her that dad and I had gotten a bit closer lately. She pointed out all the things that she had done for me in my life, and that my dad was always too busy for me. Basically, she was trying to use my insecurities with my dad against me. When she realized that that wasn’t going to work, she told me that she expected them to get the $200 per month that I owed them, even if I couldn’t pay any other bill or became overdrawn. And she seemed to think that I would definitely become overdrawn without her.

I realized about then that my mom has definitely been using me a lot more than I thought she did. I don’t know if she intentionally does it or if it’s just a “happy consequence” of the stuff I went through as a kid. I guess I’ve become so dependent on her for love and approval that I’ve given away my sense of personhood. The reason that I feel unappreciated and like a slave in my own house is probably that on some level, she doesn’t appreciate me and she does think of me more as a slave than as a daughter. And that’s depressing. I practically worshipped her for the majority of my life, and I feel like she never really valued me. Maybe I’ve let people step all over me my whole life because I just don’t feel like I deserve a real say in things.

Oh, I’m considering moving the posts from Hyperaware and Blah Blah Biddy Blah onto this domain. I’ve got a poll on the Facebook page for fuzzypinkslippers.com. If you could vote on it, I would appreciate it. I think it would be easier on and cheaper for me to combine them, but I want to know what other people think. Feel free to comment there or here about what you think about the possible combination.

Now, I’m about to talk about some stuff that might be gross for some folks, so don’t look if you’re squeamish.

Read the rest of this entry » )

Mirrored from fuzzypinkslippers.com.

janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 03:34pm on 03/04/2012 under , , ,

I’m having to have my laptop repaired again.  Guess what the repair is for?  If you guessed motherboard, then you obviously know my laptop better than the guy at tech support.  He told me that it had the motherboard replaced once and the only other repairs that were done were the palm rest and the LCD.  Um, no.  It has only been repaired onsite (meaning at my home or at Nana’s house) for those issues, but when it has gone to the depot, it has had all kinds of stuff replaced.  Honestly, it’s got more new parts than all of the plastic surgery addicts of Beverly Hills combined.  The constant repairing led to me submitting a question to WHNT about my state’s lemon law.  I’m hoping it gets picked/answered.  This is what I submitted:

I purchased a computer about 3 years ago from Dell and almost a year after I purchased it, it had a motherboard failure. Since then, there have been about 4 more motherboard failures plus many other repairs. The laptop is being repaired about every 3-4 months. It’s become really frustrating and I feel like my laptop is a lemon. Would it be covered under the lemon law? Or does that only apply to certain products? If it is covered, what would I need to do? I would really like to be able to get my geek on without contacting tech support so much.

So, maybe they’ll pick it.  Keep your fingers crossed.

In other lemon-related news, I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon.  Before I can get my GI referral, I have to jump through just a few more hoops.  Namely, I have to have my Amylase, CMP (which was done at the ER), Lipase, and Lipid levels checked, as well as an abdominal ultrasound, 2 urine tests, and 4 (this is gross) stool tests.  I have a feeling that insurance will kick the CMP when I go for it, because it was just checked less than a week ago.  The other stuff, they will probably allow.  The family doctor apologized to me yesterday when he was doing the exam.  I made sure to yelp, scream, and holler when he would hit certain spots–something I have finally learned to do.  I was surprised when he said he was sorry for hurting me.  His attending came in and repeated the exam.  She also was somewhat apologetic.  (Maybe because I had been mentioning the pain and the issues somewhat persistently since I started to go to that clinic.)

When the nurse did my vitals, my blood pressure was doing its fun bottoming out thing.  The top number was either 122 or 127 (one was for BP and one was for pulse), but the lower number was 53.  It was kind of funny that it was so low because the nurse checking me in had just asked me if I was on blood pressure medicine about a second before the number popped up.  I think that, because of my weight, she was expecting it to be super-high.  She does not know how my body likes to operate.  She and the doctors also didn’t seem to realize that the constant up and down, including laying back and raising back up was making me nearly pass out.  I wanted to tell them, but when I would get so dizzy and light-headed, I couldn’t exactly think straight enough to get my point across.

When the nurse checked my weight, it almost looked like she was going to go with 298, but she decided to go up to the 300 range and settled on 312.  The scale seemed like it “thought” I was closer to the 298, but she went with 312.  Don’t know why.   After she went with 312, she made sure to announce it vocally, which is something I hate.  I understand if she thinks that I need to know the number, but believe it or not, I can read a scale well enough to tell what my weight is.  I don’t like having the whole world hear it, though.  Anyway, if it is at 298, then it has hit a new low.  If it is at 312, it may be one of the lower numbers for their scales.

I had to describe what was wrong to her, and, wouldn’t you know, she tried to convince me that I could be pregnant.  When I told her that it wasn’t possible, she gave me a look of disbelief.  Yeah, I know, I’m going in complaining of nausea and pain, among other things, and I’m 28 and on Medicaid, but I’m not an effing stereotype.  It is, as far as I know, impossible to get pregnant without having Miss Egg introduced to Mr. Sperm.  I’m pretty sure that I would know if I had had sex with someone.  I guess she thought I would be too ashamed to mention it, or something.  God, I hope that if I had sex and got pregnant or thought I was pregnant that I wouldn’t be too ashamed to tell a nurse about it.  I may be shy and hesitant about talking about certain things, but I hope that wouldn’t be one of them.

Mirrored from fuzzypinkslippers.com.

janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 08:00am on 26/03/2012 under , , , ,
janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 07:05am on 26/03/2012 under , , ,
janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 04:43am on 26/03/2012 under , , , ,



A really big dog… well one day!

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janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 04:00am on 26/03/2012 under , , , ,


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