janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 01:41pm on 04/04/2012 under , , ,

I’m supposed to get my laptop fixed on Friday. For once in my life, I guess I’m going to have to treat Good Friday as if it actually is good. I hope that the technician is able to fix it, but I’m not going to assume that it will be that easy. Experience has taught me not to expect things to happen as quickly or easily as one would hope. That is especially true of repairs.

In the meantime, my dad is being nice about letting me have time on his computer. I guess he’s become accustomed to my laptop deciding to take a sabbatical. I guess that that makes sense.

My mom is being extremely difficult lately. I know that that has become the norm lately, but it seems like she is getting worse. And it seems like it is about the weirdest things.

When my dad and I came home from the emergency room on Wednesday, she decided that because I wasn’t admitted to the hospital, told what was wrong with my digestive system, and wasn’t dead that I was feeling well enough to be bossed around. She felt that it was appropriate to start having me get her things within five minutes of coming in. If she hadn’t just heard that I was anemic and that my blood pressure was low, then I could probably give her a break on that, but she’d heard both things and she just didn’t care. Actually, she seemed a bit pissed that I went to the hospital instead of her.

When my parents went to the grocery store last week, I had put chips and chocolate (in that order) on my list, which is normal. My dad understood that because the two things were on separate lines, I wanted chocolate and chips. My mother, on the other hand, decided that I wanted chocolate chips. When they got home and I asked why they had gotten 2 bags of chocolate chips, she told me that chocolate chips had been on my list. I knew that wasn’t possible. (I had written the list out twice because I felt the first time I was a bit too rude about what I didn’t want [i.e. food I can't eat] them to get for me.) My dad still had the list, so I got it from him and I showed it to my mom. I asked her where on the list had I asked for chocolate chips. She realized that she’d made a mistake. Of course, she had already taken the “fun” step of accusing me of trying to make her look bad. That wasn’t the case. She told me that I was lying and that I was definitely trying to make her look incompetent.  She says that anytime anyone calls her on being wrong.  She thinks that it is my mission in life (and my dad’s mission in life) to make her miserable and make her seem like she doesn’t have a clue about what is going on.  I guess she thinks we enjoy giving her a hard time.

The next day, she asked if she was going to be getting my bank statements and bills and access to my accounts, so that she could get my finances “all straightened out”. She had decided that she was going to do this about a week before, after she’d told my dad that I had overdrawn my bank account again. (I hadn’t.) She’d come home from the grocery store that week to tell me that I was being irresponsible with the money in the account and that it was all due to being bipolar. She felt that, though she has a tendency to spend money as easy as (or easier than) me, she was the person who should be in charge of the accounts. At first, I had agreed, but that was only after she’d basically forced me to the brink of tears. By last Friday, though, I’d decided that I didn’t like that idea and I didn’t like how the “agreement” had been reached. When I told her, she said, “Your father told me that you would never let me do that.” I replied, “Well, I guess he knows me better than you do.” That pissed her off. She said, “I don’t know how.” I told her that dad and I had gotten a bit closer lately. She pointed out all the things that she had done for me in my life, and that my dad was always too busy for me. Basically, she was trying to use my insecurities with my dad against me. When she realized that that wasn’t going to work, she told me that she expected them to get the $200 per month that I owed them, even if I couldn’t pay any other bill or became overdrawn. And she seemed to think that I would definitely become overdrawn without her.

I realized about then that my mom has definitely been using me a lot more than I thought she did. I don’t know if she intentionally does it or if it’s just a “happy consequence” of the stuff I went through as a kid. I guess I’ve become so dependent on her for love and approval that I’ve given away my sense of personhood. The reason that I feel unappreciated and like a slave in my own house is probably that on some level, she doesn’t appreciate me and she does think of me more as a slave than as a daughter. And that’s depressing. I practically worshipped her for the majority of my life, and I feel like she never really valued me. Maybe I’ve let people step all over me my whole life because I just don’t feel like I deserve a real say in things.

Oh, I’m considering moving the posts from Hyperaware and Blah Blah Biddy Blah onto this domain. I’ve got a poll on the Facebook page for fuzzypinkslippers.com. If you could vote on it, I would appreciate it. I think it would be easier on and cheaper for me to combine them, but I want to know what other people think. Feel free to comment there or here about what you think about the possible combination.

Now, I’m about to talk about some stuff that might be gross for some folks, so don’t look if you’re squeamish.

Read the rest of this entry » )

Mirrored from fuzzypinkslippers.com.

janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 03:34pm on 03/04/2012 under , , ,

I’m having to have my laptop repaired again.  Guess what the repair is for?  If you guessed motherboard, then you obviously know my laptop better than the guy at tech support.  He told me that it had the motherboard replaced once and the only other repairs that were done were the palm rest and the LCD.  Um, no.  It has only been repaired onsite (meaning at my home or at Nana’s house) for those issues, but when it has gone to the depot, it has had all kinds of stuff replaced.  Honestly, it’s got more new parts than all of the plastic surgery addicts of Beverly Hills combined.  The constant repairing led to me submitting a question to WHNT about my state’s lemon law.  I’m hoping it gets picked/answered.  This is what I submitted:

I purchased a computer about 3 years ago from Dell and almost a year after I purchased it, it had a motherboard failure. Since then, there have been about 4 more motherboard failures plus many other repairs. The laptop is being repaired about every 3-4 months. It’s become really frustrating and I feel like my laptop is a lemon. Would it be covered under the lemon law? Or does that only apply to certain products? If it is covered, what would I need to do? I would really like to be able to get my geek on without contacting tech support so much.

So, maybe they’ll pick it.  Keep your fingers crossed.

In other lemon-related news, I went to the doctor yesterday afternoon.  Before I can get my GI referral, I have to jump through just a few more hoops.  Namely, I have to have my Amylase, CMP (which was done at the ER), Lipase, and Lipid levels checked, as well as an abdominal ultrasound, 2 urine tests, and 4 (this is gross) stool tests.  I have a feeling that insurance will kick the CMP when I go for it, because it was just checked less than a week ago.  The other stuff, they will probably allow.  The family doctor apologized to me yesterday when he was doing the exam.  I made sure to yelp, scream, and holler when he would hit certain spots–something I have finally learned to do.  I was surprised when he said he was sorry for hurting me.  His attending came in and repeated the exam.  She also was somewhat apologetic.  (Maybe because I had been mentioning the pain and the issues somewhat persistently since I started to go to that clinic.)

When the nurse did my vitals, my blood pressure was doing its fun bottoming out thing.  The top number was either 122 or 127 (one was for BP and one was for pulse), but the lower number was 53.  It was kind of funny that it was so low because the nurse checking me in had just asked me if I was on blood pressure medicine about a second before the number popped up.  I think that, because of my weight, she was expecting it to be super-high.  She does not know how my body likes to operate.  She and the doctors also didn’t seem to realize that the constant up and down, including laying back and raising back up was making me nearly pass out.  I wanted to tell them, but when I would get so dizzy and light-headed, I couldn’t exactly think straight enough to get my point across.

When the nurse checked my weight, it almost looked like she was going to go with 298, but she decided to go up to the 300 range and settled on 312.  The scale seemed like it “thought” I was closer to the 298, but she went with 312.  Don’t know why.   After she went with 312, she made sure to announce it vocally, which is something I hate.  I understand if she thinks that I need to know the number, but believe it or not, I can read a scale well enough to tell what my weight is.  I don’t like having the whole world hear it, though.  Anyway, if it is at 298, then it has hit a new low.  If it is at 312, it may be one of the lower numbers for their scales.

I had to describe what was wrong to her, and, wouldn’t you know, she tried to convince me that I could be pregnant.  When I told her that it wasn’t possible, she gave me a look of disbelief.  Yeah, I know, I’m going in complaining of nausea and pain, among other things, and I’m 28 and on Medicaid, but I’m not an effing stereotype.  It is, as far as I know, impossible to get pregnant without having Miss Egg introduced to Mr. Sperm.  I’m pretty sure that I would know if I had had sex with someone.  I guess she thought I would be too ashamed to mention it, or something.  God, I hope that if I had sex and got pregnant or thought I was pregnant that I wouldn’t be too ashamed to tell a nurse about it.  I may be shy and hesitant about talking about certain things, but I hope that wouldn’t be one of them.

Mirrored from fuzzypinkslippers.com.

janersm: (anna paquin: golden globes)
posted by [personal profile] janersm at 12:57am on 26/03/2012 under , , , ,


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